October 18, 2017

Wednesday lunch with Jane.

Today was a good visit. Jane was very happy to see me, lucid & engaged in conversation. She spoke more to me than she has in probably 6 months – maybe longer.

Jane was hit by another resident this morning. It happens – I understand that. And I also appreciate how concerned all of the staff are for everyone’s safety. My dad received a phone call right after it happened this morning & as I was walking in today, Patty, who is the head nurse, stopped me to talk & explain everything they are doing to ensure Jane’s safety. Jane wasn’t hit hard, she seems ok & I don’t think the resident who hit her did it maliciously. My guess is Jane just got too close in his space & that is how he reacted. Jane didn’t seem upset when I arrived & while she was eating at a different table to give her space from this resident, she didn’t seem bothered. She simply looked up at me as I said her name & smiled from ear to ear.

Jane was just finishing her lunch when I walked in so I sat down next to her & pulled her cupcake out of my purse. Emely (one of Jane’s caregivers) warned me the gentleman sharing Jane’s table today would try to steal her cupcake so we didn’t take time for a pic today – it was chocolate with pink frosting on top. Jane told me lemon is still her favorite but today’s cupcake was good too.

After Jane finished her cupcake, I helped her up to go for a walk. Myron (one of the other residents) wanted to go outside too so Jane patiently waited on the side while I held the door for Myron. He wheeled over to the porch & Jane & I headed down the sidewalk for our walk. She was walking very slowly today & tilting a bit to the side, but wanted to walk. After we had walked a little bit Jane paused & grabbed both of my hands & looked me deep in the eyes – her eyes were twinkling – she was excited.

She said, “I have a big dog!”

It has been a year, maybe longer, since Jane has spoke a full sentence, yet she was very clear with her words. “You do? But you always have small dogs. Are you talking about Jamie?” That’s the amazing dog she & my dad had who passed away many years ago. Jane often talks to me of Jamie & I know Jamie stops by to visit her mom often. Jane said again, “I have a big dog!” And again was excited. So I thought about it for a minute & then it came to me. I said, “Oh! Do you mean Jordy? Is he a yellow lab?” Jane squealed yes & was so excited. I said, “Does Jordy come with Jamie to visit you?” She said YES! She was so happy. And it made me so happy. Jordy was my yellow lab who passed away almost 6 years ago. I always say he is my special angel & directs me to every foster dog I bring into my life. It warms my heart to know he is looking after Jane & how special that is for her. I wonder if having Jordy watch over her helps her feel safe.

Jane & I continued on our walk & we talked. She was eager to hear everything going on in my life & very engaged in sharing her opinion. And I have to say, any time I have asked Jane her opinion on something she is always right. I cherish the days like today. Two of Jane’s sisters reach out to me from time to time & share things in their life. I always share these with Jane – she likes to know & I know she misses her sisters. Today she seemed to already be aware of everything I shared. I do believe all of our souls are somehow connected & we are always close to our loved ones – if we simply allow ourselves to be open to that feeling. Clearly Jane feels very close to those she loves. It’s a comforting feeling for me.

It’s warm outside today so I asked Jane if she would prefer to go to the clubhouse to sit & chat, to which she said yes. So we made ourselves comfortable inside & continued our conversation. I talked to Jane about my running, my upcoming events & my frustrations with my injuries. I told her how my shin splints are flaring up & causing me to question if it’s wise for me to run a half marathon in 2 weeks. I said, “Jane, do you have some magic healing powers you could use on my shins? I sure could use it!” She touched each of my shins with her hand & applied pressure then looked me in the eyes & giggled. Magic power applied!

When my stepmom giggled today, it made me realize how long it’s been since I heard her laugh. My stepmom always had this big hardy laugh that filled a room. I don’t remember the last time I heard that. There are so many things we take for granted each day, without even realizing it. As I sat with my stepmom on the couch, holding her hand, I told her I missed her. I asked her if she will promise to come visit me often after she leaves this world. She looked me deep in the eyes, squeezed my hand & said “Yes.” It was a very confident yes so I know it will happen. We sat for quite some time together on the couch, watching the various support staff walk in & out. Jane leaned her head against mine & I could feel her love for me. It was a good visit.

Cherish the good days. Hold on to them to help you get through the bad days.