May 4, 2018

Today is my dad’s birthday. And since Jane is no longer able to plan a celebration for her love, she asked me for help. Wednesday she was alert & having a good day, so we schemed. Of course you know, she requested cupcakes. And we decided to bring in lunch, so they could have a “date.”

I went early today to help Jane get ready. She was sleeping in one of the chairs in the great room when I arrived so I had to wake her up. I reminded her it was my dad’s birthday & she had big plans. She said oh yes! I told her I picked up cupcakes & would head out to grab lunch once my dad arrived. She looked me deep in the eyes & said “thank you.”

We brushed her hair & rubbed lotion on her arms. Her skin is getting really dry so she appreciated the lotion. Plus she enjoyed the smell of my lotion. After we were done grooming for her date, we headed outside for a walk & to help Jane’s mind connect a bit better too. We saw our parrot friends & stopped to watch them for a bit before heading to the clubhouse.

Jane & I beat my dad to the clubhouse, so we sat down with another resident, Rose, for a bit. She was working on a puzzle. When my dad arrived, I headed out for lunch. Jane had requested pizza. I don’t know if she really understood what she was asking for, but a couple of weeks ago when I had been visiting, a family of one of the residents had brought in pizza & Jane thought it looked good. Rose asked if she could have pizza with us, so once I got approval it was ok, I headed out. All of the residents are on monitored nutrition so I never want to share food with them before confirming it is ok. After all, most of them do not remember if they have food allergies or should not eat certain foods.

When I returned with pizza, my dad & Jane were gone. Rose was still sitting at the table, patiently waiting for my return. She informed me my parents had gone for a walk. Apparently my dad was impatient waiting for my return. I gave Rose her slice of pizza while I waited for them to return. I think she happily would have eaten all 3 slices so it’s good my dad was not too long returning. When they returned, my dad sat next to Jane at the table & fed her lunch. But every other bite went in his mouth. I teased with Jane he was stealing her pizza & she smiled. My guess, had she ability to speak, she would have said, “that’s nothing new.” She seemed content in a way she has not been in a long time. Having a lunch date with her husband made her happy. Sure my dad spends lunch with her most days – but this was different – it was special. She wasn’t eating with everyone else in her house & being interrupted by some of her more friendly house mates. Sure Rose had joined us, but Rose was happily talking to me, leaving my dad & Jane to themselves. It was the closest we were going to get to a “date.”

Since it’s a new month & it’s Friday (a day I don’t normally visit Jane), I was able to grab 2 new cupcake flavors. One was chocolate espresso which Jane seemed to enjoy almost as much as her lemon cupcakes, and the other was carmel & cream. My dad isn’t a big sweets guy so he was happy to share his cupcake with his wife. Jane, on the other hand, has ALWAYS enjoyed dessert!

After cupcakes, I gave my dad his birthday cards – one from me & one from the puppies – because they love their grandpa. And then I excused myself & told Jane I would leave the love birds alone. I kissed her goodbye & told her I would see her soon. She squeezed my hands & then focused all of her attention on my dad. It was a good day for her.

This may not have been the preferred way to celebrate my Dad’s birthday. In the past, Jane would have made dinner reservations at some great restaurant in town & invited those closest to my dad. She would have ordered dessert & blamed it on me & a great evening would have been had by all. We never knew this horrible disease would enter our lives & turn everything upside down. But that doesn’t mean it has to always win. I’m grateful I’m able to help Jane find ways to still make my dad feel special on his birthday.