March 7, 2018

Wednesday lunch with Jane:

New month means new daily cupcake – though apparently I’ve been picking up a cupcake for too long because I think Jane has had this before. But luckily she either didn’t remember or didn’t care. It was chocolate peanut butter – my 2 favorite things together! As you can tell from the pic, there was a bit of a peanut butter cup on the top of the cupcake. I told Jane that was my favorite candy bar & asked if I could steal it. She said yes & smiled. As long as I don’t try to eat her actual cupcake it’s all good.

Jane was definitely more alert today & wanted to talk at lunch. A couple of times she could get clear words out – other times it was just gibberish. No matter – it was clear she understood what I was saying to her. We chatted during lunch & a few times I said something that would make Jane smile. She wanted to hold my hand during lunch but when it came time to feed her the cupcake I needed both hands because it was a bit messy.

After lunch we headed outside. It’s nice outside today & it’s cloudy so we were able to enjoy sitting outside. Jane was walking ok today but I could tell she was still feeling a bit tired so we took the long way & then sat under the trees to visit. One of the residents who lives in another house was coming back from lunch with her husband so I waved hello. Rose asked if we were going to sit outside & I said yes I think we are, so she decided to come join us. I always enjoy chatting with Rose. She has told me a few times that she too has dementia, but she is not as far progressed as Jane. I often see Rose when I am leaving from visiting with my stepmom & she always asks, “how’s your momma today?” Today while Jane slept against my shoulder, Rose asked me if I thought the disease would get this bad for her too. I looked her in the eyes & said, “I don’t know sweetie – but I sure hope not.” She nodded her head & then sat in silence. Man do I hate this disease! Jane was content to sleep so I asked Rose about her life, about her family. I’ve met her husband when he comes to get her for lunch, but I also learned about her kids. I think Rose enjoyed having someone to talk to & I enjoy having a full conversation. I love my talks with Jane – but because of this horrible disease I do 99% of the talking.

I have grown quite fond of many of the residents here. I know it will be hard for me to go visit once Jane is gone, but part of me feels it is important for me to still come to visit – not just for the residents but for me.

Jane woke from her nap just as all the smokers were coming outside. They only get 1 or 2 cigarettes a day so my dad always questions why they smoke at all. My guess is it has little to do with the cigarette & more to do with the company. Nonetheless, Jane does not like the smoke (nor do I) so we took that as our cue to head inside. Jane struggled to get back up from the chair & her favorite caregiver, Emely, was outside so I motioned for her to help me. I think Jane just wanted the extra attention because we got her up easily & then she held both of our hands as we walked back inside. I tell you – my stepmom has not lost her desire to be the center of attention!

As I was leaving today, 2 of the ladies I typically see outside after lunch were having some issues. The first had an alarm going off on her wheelchair. Thankfully she was fine – it just appeared to be a faulty battery. One of the med techs came to our rescue. Then the other lady was not as chipper as normal so I asked what was going on. She told me she was not feeling well & had not felt well since this morning. I said ok – let me get the nurse for you. I left her in the care of Patty. I heard Patty tell her she should not come outside without her sunglasses because she knew she got dizzy when she did that. Joan told her she looked for her sunglasses but didn’t know where they were. Sounds like it was going to be a busy afternoon!

I am happy to report, Jane has improved every day this week. We are all monitoring her closely & hope she continues to improve. I can’t fix her, but I will do everything in my power to keep her comfortable & content. Even if that means brining her a cupcake 7 days a week.