March 31, 2017

Friday lunch with Jane:

My Dad called this morning & asked if I could visit Jane today so he could help a friend. I had a meeting I couldn’t move but went to see Jane as soon as it was done. Jane had already eaten when I arrived & was sitting in a chair in the family room. I checked in with her caregivers & they said Jane ate all of her lunch. I found Jane sitting quietly, with the same blank stare as yesterday. It took her a few minutes but luckily she did recognize me & smiled. It is cold & windy today in Phoenix so we grabbed Jane’s jacket before heading outside. She did allow me to put her jacket on, but seemed very disengaged. We walked for a little bit, but Jane tired easily so we sat in the clubhouse.

Jane was very quiet today & just sat still. I do feel she understood what I said to her, but was not able to respond back, though that did not stop her from trying. I told her I loved her & she nodded her head & leaned in close to me. In my common fashion, I chatted away with Jane, telling her about Bear, my foster Mo & talking about her upcoming birthday. I said I would make cupcakes for her tomorrow & she said no. Jane loves my cupcakes so I asked, “no? But you love my homemade cupcakes.” She nodded her head yes. So I said, “oh – would you prefer I bake them early Sunday morning?” She said yes. As I said to my dad, it makes me happy when I get a glimpse of the spunkiness that was once my stepmom.

I have no idea how much time we have left & that makes me sad. I believe that makes Jane sad too. But I do believe our loved ones are still able to communicate with us from the other side & I remind Jane of this. I often feel the presence of my beloved lab Jordan so I told Jane today if she was confused, just find Jordy & he will help her. I am sure my parents’ dog Jamie is with Jordan & will be waiting for Jane when she crosses over. That made Jane smile. As I left today, I said I would see her on Sunday with cupcakes. She was sitting in the family room with several of her house mates so I said don’t worry, I’m bringing enough for everyone. That made me a hit as I left today.