March 27, 2022

The relationship of a step mother & step daughter is not always easy. There are doubts & insecurities on both sides. The extended family for each have their thoughts & opinions which don’t always align with the feelings of those who matter the most – the daughter & the mother.

Jane entered my life when I was 16. She would play a full time role in my life after I graduated college & moved to Arizona & she married my dad. We both loved my dad & I think we struggled for some time to realize there was plenty of space in both my dad’s heart & life for each of us. Our relationship was strained at times. It was also full of love & laughter. I believe because Jane was not the mother who raised me & I was not a child she raised, we never worried about disappointing the other, which gave us a beautiful truth to our relationship. I have missed her wisdom. I have missed her tenacity. And I have missed her laughter. I look forward to seeing all of that again in my dreams.

On Friday evening, Jane took her last breath & left the body trapped by dementia. She was surrounded by those she loved & whom loved her. She fought bravely & stubbornly – true to her essence until the very end. We will miss her greatly, but are comforted by the peace her suffering has ended. Jane has been battling early onset dementia 13+ years. She has lived in a memory care facility for the past 6+ years. Our family is eternally grateful for the care she was provided. We know the staff mourn her loss along with us.

As painful as this disease was to endure for Jane & the entire family, I am grateful for the time it allowed us. When Jane left this world on Friday, I knew I had long ago told her everything on my heart. I loved her & I know she loved me.

As I mourn her loss, I choose to remember her radiant & smiling, long before the dementia entered her body. She will watch over us all now, as we have been watching over her. I look forward to her visits in my dreams.

If you were touched by the stories of Jane I have shared over the years in my lunch with Jane posts, please consider making a donation to the Alzheimer’s Association in her name.