June 9, 2018

Lunch with Jane:

I’m heading out of town so I swapped days with my Dad so I could spend some time with my stepmom. And since it’s a different day of the week than usual, that meant a new cupcake flavor! Pralines was today’s choice. It smelled amazing & Jane agreed it tasted as good as it smelled.

When I arrived, Jane was sitting in a chair in the great room. She smiled a big smile as soon as she saw me & easily stood up when I grabbed her hand. Emely had already set her plate on the table so we dug right into her lunch. Jane was very alert today, focusing on everything I said at lunch & answering all my questions. If they were a yes or no question, I received a clear yes or no. But if it required more explanation, my stepmom would explain, but unfortunately it was jibber jash & I could not understand. But I didn’t mind. I enjoyed how alert she was. My dad mentioned on Sunday when I saw him she had been very talkative & engaged the past few days & he hoped it would continue. We all rest a little easier when she has such days.

For some reason, Jane was antsy during lunch. She kept trying to push away from the table & get up. Finally I said Jane – you can’t have your cupcake until you finish your lunch. Do you want your cupcake? She looked me deep in the eyes & said YES! She didn’t fidget again. After she finished her cupcake, we headed outside, which made my stepmom very happy. I asked her if she wanted to take the long way to the birds since she was so antsy to get outside & she said no. She was walking slowly, so even though she was antsy to get outside, perhaps walking felt hard. We made our way to the trees & talked to the birds along the way. There were 2 doves sitting on the fence railing behind us. Shorty after we sat down, the resident cat came strolling by to join us. He never comes over until Marianna (another resident) comes out – closer to 1. She feeds him & he loves her. Only on rare occasions does he allow me to pet him. And today, his presence was keeping our dove from coming to say hello.

Once Jane & I were settled into our chairs, we took a pic to send to my dad. I noticed I had chocolate on my lip. I didn’t have time to eat lunch before heading out to see Jane & I knew I would get hungry, so I scarfed down a chocolate peanut butter protein bar in the car. Apparently I had left evidence on my lip. When I saw the picture I said, “oh – I have chocolate on my lip!” Jane said yes! I asked her if she had known that all along & she said yes! I said, “and you didn’t tell me?” She said no & smiled. Like she thought it was funny! I love when my stepmom’s personality sneaks out. It reminds me she is still very much still there – just trapped by this horrible disease.

We texted with my dad & then talked about the cat. I asked Jane if I should see if he would leave so our dove would come say hello. She said yes! I guess she enjoys the visit from the bird as much as I do. It took quite a bit of coercion to get the cat to leave, but finally he did. Shortly after, our dove came by to say hello. Just a quick hello & then he flew back to the fence to join the other dove. The two of them sat there, leaning in to one another during our entire visit. It was very sweet.

It was after 1 pm when I told Jane we needed to go inside. I tried to get her to stand up & she forcefully said no! I said Jane, as much as I would love to sit her all day with you, I just can’t. I have to get back to work. She must have understood because she allowed me to help her up. We walked slowly back to her house & I helped her settle into one of the chairs in the great room. I kissed her goodbye & told her I loved her. She seemed content to be sitting there with the other residents, watching Ferris Buehler’s Day Off.

It’s been awhile since Jane has had a good day when I’ve visited. She has had good days – just not on days I saw her. I appreciate the days she is so alert & engaged. I miss talking to her, miss her call it as she sees it advice whether I wanted to hear it or not. I miss our adventures & miss her willingness to help me on projects. I hate how this disease slowly takes her away from us.