June 21, 2017

Wednesday lunch with Jane.

Today, I found Jane sitting on the couch with her legs up (not a usual sight) & most of the residents in her house in the kitchen waiting on lunch. I could see Jane’s food sitting out for her at her usual spot so I asked her if she had gotten up & she said yes. She was happy to see me & easily walked with me back to the table & sat down. As I pulled up a chair for me to sit in, I pulled the cupcake out of my purse & set it on the table in front of Jane – she smiled. At one point during lunch, she reached for the pink box & I said you need to finish your lunch first. She gave me this sheepish grin – like a kid gives you when they ask for a cookie before dinner. Jane ate her meatloaf no problem but was slower with the mashed potatoes. Did the texture feel weird to her? And today, she was much more interested in the cake portion of the cupcake & did not eat all the frosting – normally the frosting is her favorite part! It is always odd to me how this disease impedes on her brain from day to day.

Jane was mostly alert with me today while she ate & responded to my questions, but a few times she seemed to be lost in her own train of thoughts. And perhaps she was! Of course, after her cupcake she was ready to walk. It’s miserable hot outside here in Phoenix so I walked as fast as possible with Jane to the clubhouse. She seemed much more in her own world & it was a bit of a challenge to direct her to the clubhouse. Even though Jane wiped sweat from her brow, she didn’t seem to grasp it was too hot to be outside. I was able to direct Jane to the clubhouse & she sat with me on the couch for a few minutes. But then she was up walking around. Since she seemed to be in her own world, I just allowed her to walk while I watched. That is until she opened the door & walked outside. And she walked faster than usual – almost as if she was trying to get away! I caught up to her quickly & she grabbed my hand & looked deeper into my eyes & smiled. It was as if she was saying there you are – let’s go play! This time she easily walked back towards her house & we went inside. But she wouldn’t sit with me here either. She seemed to just want to be in motion. My favorite aids (her Sunday – Thursday gals) were there today so I wasn’t worried about her once we were in the house. I simply sat on the couch & waited for her to come say hello. I chatted with another resident in her house who was sitting in the family room. At one point, Jane walked down to her room & came back holding a diaper in her hand. I joked with Emely (one of the caregivers) & said do you think she’s trying to tell us something? Emely & I walked with Jane back to her room & Emely checked Jane but she was dry so Emely said Jane, would you like to take a nap & then I will check on you in a bit? Jane shook her head yes so Emely helped Jane to her bed. I then asked Jane if she would like me to cover her & she said yes. She likes her blanket over her – I think it helps her to feel safe. Emely left us so I could chat with Jane more before leaving. But she quickly closed her eyes so I kissed her goodbye & told her I would visit again soon.

Jane wanted to talk with me today – it seemed she had something important on her mind. But mostly gibberish is all that came out. When she has days like this, I just listen & do my best to understand. This works most of the time. But at one point she seemed a bit angry & I said hey now – you aren’t being mean to me are you? To which she smiled & relaxed. I can not imagine the frustration Jane must have. As long as she is alive, I will do everything & anything I can to ease her frustration & allow her to feel loved. When I was leaving today, one of the residents who also likes to walk was standing near the door so Emely walked with me to the door. I looked to the woman & she had tears in her eyes so I touched her arm softly & said sweetie – were you crying? She looked to both Emely & me & began telling us how she just doesn’t understand & it makes her sad. Emely & I talked with her for a few minutes before I left. This woman is about 2 years behind Jane in the disease. She is still alert enough to know something is wrong. She still feels the frustration. My heart ached for her as I left.

If you read last week’s post, then you know I was not happy with the quality of care Jane & all the residents in her house were receiving that day. I took a few minutes today to express my gratitude to both Emely & Mary Ann. I always tell them thank you but I wanted them to know how much I appreciate their care. I said I am going to tell Sean you both need a raise! Always take the time to tell those around you what they mean to you. When you receive great service – acknowledge it & say thank you! Take a moment to hold the door for someone else & ask someone how their day is going. It doesn’t take much to show gratitude & leave this world a little bit better.