June 15, 2018

Lunch with Jane:

One of the “challenges” with this disease is clothing. The outside world is too much for Jane to take in, which means we can’t just take her shopping when she needs new clothes. Her weight has fluctuated since we moved her into this facility 2+ years ago – first losing weight & now gaining weight again. Add o that the wear & tear on her clothes & I feel like someone is shopping for Jane fairly often. Her sisters went shopping when they visited this past spring, but Jane’s weight continues to go up so many of the clothes in her closet don’t fit. My dad asked if I could help keep an eye out for capris for my stepmom, guessing at the proper size. It also needs to be durable fabric because all clothes are laundered together & my guess is they are laundered in hot water to get them clean. I took 2 pairs of capris for my stepmom recently & took them with me for lunch. Jane has the most energy immediately after eating so I had her try on the pants before we headed out for her walk. Thankfully the pants both fit & when I put on the red, Jane liked them so much she wanted to keep them on. The 2nd pic is her new pants. I didn’t bother to change her top so please ignore the fact she looks like a picnic table.

I don’t have kids of my own – I’ve never had to deal with the endless purchase of new clothes due to clothes not fitting or worn out from the endless washes. It’s typical for Jane to wear at least 2 different outfits in a day because she soiled herself – much like a baby. She wears diapers, but sometimes that’s not enough. I am grateful my stepmom doesn’t notice – that the disease has taken this ability away from her – because I can’t imagine how humiliating this would be if she knew. But the fact of the matter is that she has no control – the disease took this ability from her awhile ago.

I had another new cupcake flavor for Jane – pineapple coconut. I will be honest – the coconut texture threw my stepmom off a bit. She wasn’t sure if she should eat it. She did – but slowly. Not sure I’ll repeat this flavor. I forget different textured food is confusing for my stepmom. Her brain isn’t sure what to make of it. I think it takes some of the joy of the cupcake away.

Once we finished lunch & Jane had tried on her new pants for me, we headed outside. It’s getting hot here in Phoenix, but thankfully it was cool enough for Jane under the trees. Walking is more difficult for her & I’m not sure she wants to walk all the way to the clubhouse. Plus – we both really enjoy sitting under the trees, listening to the birds. Jane was tired today & didn’t seem interested in talking. She quickly fell asleep. Our dove was sitting in the trees above us, singing a song & it must have sung Jane to sleep. He came down to visit later, but when Jane wouldn’t wake up to greet him, he left. I believe this is the 4th week in a row this dove has come to visit. There are many birds living in the trees, but this guy is the only one who flies down & walks right in front of us. I know he is coming to visit. He has a distinct mark on his neck, so I know it’s the same bird every week. Unfortunately, he won’t ever stand still close enough to me to capture a great pic of him – but somehow I believe I will never forget him.

Around 1 pm, the few smokers left came out for their cigarette break. That’s always our cue to head inside. Jane & I walked slowly back to her house & inside. I helped her sit in a chair in the great room & then went to her room to put away her new clothes. Emely suggested I take the pants that no longer fit so we stood at Jane’s closet for a few minutes while Emely sorted through the clothes. By the time I walked out of Jane’s room, she had fallen asleep again. I guess it was one of those days where sleep took over. I kissed her goodbye, told her I loved her & left. She didn’t move.