February 2, 2018

Wednesday lunch with Jane:

It’s been a very busy week (again) so I am just now finding time to sit down & share my visit with my stepmom on Wednesday.

As you know, I’ve been bringing Jane a cupcake every time I visit her for many months now. She has had all the flavors many times & the flavor of the day is only changed once a month. Jane’s favorite cupcake is lemon, but she really enjoys trying new flavors. When I walked into the cupcake store, I saw the brownie cupcake. Jane has always enjoyed chocolate so we went with the brownie cupcake. A choice Jane very much enjoyed.

This was a good visit & Jane was in high spirits. She immediately recognized me when I sat down next to her & smiled a big smile & grabbed for my hand. I’ve noticed Jane always enjoys touch. She holds my hand often & likes to sit close enough her skin touches mine. It was time for lunch when I arrived so I fed Jane her lunch & then opened her cupcake. The brownie is a different texture so I wasn’t sure how Jane would react, but she gobbled down every bite. It was a gorgeous day outside in Phoenix so as soon as we finished the cupcake, I asked Jane if she was up for a walk. She immediately stood, without my help I will add, so clearly I spoke the magic words.

As Jane & I began our walk, Dr. L was coming in. Jane paused – was she wanting to visit with the doc? But Jane didn’t smile when she walked by & said hello, which is not like Jane. Perhaps she wondered if she was going to mess with the stitches above her eye? Jane & I headed out for her walk with her holding my hand tight. We walked a little distance before Jane stopped & turned to look in my eyes. She gave me a huge smile. So perhaps she was just waiting for our alone time. Jane cherishes her one on one time with those she loves. We made a full lap & then sat under the trees. Jane was very talkative today & engaged. Some times her words made sense, some times they did not. But clearly she was happy. We texted my dad who was at the Phoenix Open for the Pro Am. We sent him a pic of Jane’s cupcake & told him to find himself a special treat at the TPC too. My dad told me Jane had been very talkative on Tuesday too. I asked Jane if my dad had listened to all she had said & she said NO. I said well – that’s Gary for you – always does what he wants to. She smiled from ear to ear clearly agreeing with me. Jane always had a way of getting my dad to do what she wanted him to do but she also allowed him to just be him. He had always encouraged her to be her & she loved that about him.

Jane couldn’t be bothered to sit for too long – she wanted to walk today. So she rose to her feet & gave me the look that meant ” well – are you going to get up?” We walked to the clubhouse & headed inside for a bit. Michelle was there to cut hair & she stopped by to chat. Jane chatted with her for a bit – she always likes to see Michelle. Then we headed outside again & took the long way home. By the time Jane & I made it back to her house she was ready to rest for a bit. She found a chair in the great room & sat down. I talked with her a few minutes more before leaving. I kissed her on the forehead & told her I loved her. She squeezed my hand – her way of telling me she loves me too.

I cherish the good days with Jane. It helps get through the tough days. Just a year ago, the bad days were infrequent. Now we have reached the stage of the disease where the good days are infrequent. But even if every day is a bad day, I will still continue to go visit, to sit with her & hold her hand. I hope the day doesn’t come when she completely forgets me, but I am well aware that is highly probable with this disease. Even if she doesn’t remember me, she will still be able to feel my love & for that reason I will continue to visit until she leaves this world.