February 14, 2018

Lunch with Jane:

My valentine fell asleep on me! It’s a rainy day here in Phoenix so perhaps that is why – or perhaps Jane is just tired today.

Jane had requested I bring cupcakes today for Emely & Matthew – her two main daytime caregivers. She wants them to know she appreciates them. So I grabbed 3 cupcakes today. Jane was in a hurry to share so I didn’t get a chance to take a pic of all 3, but Jane did pause long enough before eating her cupcake for me to snap a quick pic. It was lemon – her favorite!

After lunch, Jane got up right away – I guess she was in a hurry to go! I told her it was cool outside & sprinkling so we needed to grab her a jacket. We went to her room & she sat on her bed while I grabbed her jacket. Today was a bit of a challenge to get her coat on – she was not understanding why I was bending her arm the way I was so it took us a few minutes. But once the jacket was on, she was happy. We zipped it up & headed out. It was sprinkling & Jane was not crazy about it. I asked, “should we head straight to the clubhouse?” Jane said yes & held tightly to my hand. So we made our way as quickly as possible to the clubhouse & sat on the couch.

I asked Jane if she would like to send a valentine message to my dad. She grinned from ear to ear & said oh yes! So I took a picture of her & sent her message to my dad. She was very happy when he responded back. Their love is strong & transcends even this horrible disease. That’s my valentines treat – to witness that kind of love. Jane very quickly rested her head on my shoulder & fell asleep. She was content. A cute therapy dog named Piper came in with flowers & valentines kisses. She jumped up on the couch next to me & gave me a kiss – but Jane didn’t respond at all, despite me telling her about this adorable dog sitting next to me. Some days Jane is just tired & I know she rests better when she has someone she loves sitting with her. So I allowed her to sleep until I needed to get back to work.

I wil admit – I was a bit concerned it would be a challenge to get Jane back to her house. It was raining a bit more outside now & we have to walk outside to get back to her house. And while she stood up pretty easily for me, I’m not sure her brain was fully cooperating with her because it took her a minute to find her balance. I am always worried in these moments Jane is going to fall & break something. It’s a frustrating reality of this disease. Luckily that did not happen & we made it back to the house after a couple of stops along the way. Jane didn’t seem to mind the rain, but I’m not sure she really understood what it was either. She kept talking to me but her words are so garbled I could not understand. I do my best, but some days are harder than others to understand.

When we made it back to Jane’s house, I asked her if she wanted to go lie down. She said no. So we walked to the couch & I helped her sit down. I took off her jacket & went to put it in her closet for her. A few of the other residents were watching tv & both Emely & Matthew were there so I think Jane wanted to be there too. I got her settled in & told her she could rest her head back & sleep if she wanted. She was asleep again before I left.

Some days all I do is sit with my stepmom while she sleeps. It may seem trivial, but it’s important. She is more relaxed when someone she loves is with her & some days she just needs to rest. This disease takes so much out of her. And even when she sleeps, she holds my hand. So even if she sleeps every day I visit, I will still visit. It’s the little things that matter. Its so easy to get busy with life & forget this. Dementia reminds me not to take any moment for granted.