December 27, 2018
It’s the season for busy I suppose. I feel like I’ve been running nonstop for weeks! Had lunch with Jane yesterday like I typically do on Wednesday’s, but had to rush straight to work after so I never had a chance to post about our visit. We were crazy busy in the store so I was exhausted when I got home & went straight to bed.
Emely is still on vacation so there was a caregiver I didn’t know there yesterday. He was helping Jane walk to the kitchen table when I arrived. I helped her get situated while he went to grab her lunch for me. I could tell my stepmom was still tired. She reached for my hand but didn’t seem to have any light in her eyes. My stepmom was always so full of personality – when I see her like this, I think it’s the hardest. It’s just not her. She quietly ate her lunch for me. Drinking water seems to be harder for her than eating food. I’m not sure why that is. She was able to drink a glass of water, but we have to take it much slower & in small sips. I think drinking with a straw is easier for her. I brought her cake again today, which she enjoyed. While she loves her cupcakes, I think she enjoys mixing things up.
After lunch, I grabbed Jane’s wheelchair & Bindu helped me get her settled so we could head outside. It’s cold here in Phoenix so we opted to head to the clubhouse instead of sitting outside. Putting a jacket on Jane is challenging so I wrapped a blanket around her instead. This is easier to remove once she is warm inside the clubhouse too. For a few minutes, Jane was alert & we talked. She squeezed my hands & we texted with my Dad. But she was tired again today so her alertness didn’t last long. Michelle (who cuts the residents hair) came over to say hello. Jane could barely keep her eyes open. After Michelle left, I told Jane it was ok if she just wanted to nap. She never seemed to fully fall asleep, but really couldn’t keep her eyes open for long either. She still enjoys the company so we sat mostly in silence this visit.
I had to be sure to leave right at 1 so I could make it to work on time. I knew the mall would be crazy & I had no idea how long it would take to find a parking spot. So around 12:45 I told Jane we needed to head back to her house. I wanted to have enough time to get her settled in to a chair in the great room. We walked slowly back to her house, enjoying the fresh air & then I helped Jane up from her wheelchair & into a chair in the great room. I wrapped her blanket around her legs to keep her warm & sat next to her for a few minutes. Most of the residents make their way to the great room to watch tv after lunch. Jane enjoys the company.
As I watched all the residents find their spot, I thought about how many different faces I’ve seen in Jane’s house over the years. Some have moved into a different house, some have moved to a different facility, many have passed away. It’s the fate of this horrible disease. I wonder if Jane notices the same things. Does she wonder about her end? I mean clearly she is not done with this life yet because she is still here. How long will she stay? Will she give us warning before she leaves or will it be sudden? These are the thoughts that go through my head when I have quiet visits with Jane.
