August 9, 2017

Wednesday lunch with Jane

Today was one of those days where everyone called me. The phone didn’t ring once yesterday – but today because I needed to be somewhere they all called today & it was all stuff I needed to take action on. So I was late getting to Jane. Lucky for me, she didn’t mind.

Emely (one of Jane’s caregivers) had fed Jane her lunch & was chatting with her when I arrived. Jane saw me & smiled from ear to ear. I apologized for being late & she just patted my hand as if to say it’s ok. I told her I had a brand new cupcake flavor for her to try so we walked back to her table to sit down. Jane had gotten up to walk over to me when she saw me coming in the house.

Today’s cupcake was watermelon mint (I think – it was watermelon something). Jane liked it & did say it tasted like watermelon. She ate it all up & then I told her I had a present for her – I bought her new shoes! So after her cupcake, we walked over to the couch so I could put on her new shoes. They fit well & she said she liked them. After her small fall last week, I wanted to get her some shoes with better traction & support than her sandals she’s been wearing. We put her sandals in her room & headed out for our walk. On the way, we stopped to show Emely & Matt, Jane’s weekday caregivers. They both told her they liked them, which made Jane smile. Sometimes that childlike innocence & happiness comes through & it warms my heart.

It was really hot today in Phoenix so I told Jane we should walk straight to the clubhouse. It was full sun & it was casting a shadow on the sidewalk. Jane kept stopping & didn’t want to move forward. I realized it was her shadow. As long as her shadow was beside her, she was ok. But any time it was in front of her, she froze. She didn’t want to step on it. I tried to assure her it was nothing to worry about & even jumped playfully on my shadow. She giggled – but still refused to step on her shadow. This is new. The disease is taking away more of her logic – I don’t like that. Jane sat with me for a few minutes on the couch in the clubhouse & we chatted about life, but then she wanted to walk. I convinced her to stay inside, but I did let her out of the locked area of the clubhouse & we went to visit with the office staff. Jane has no desire to escape (thankfully) but she seemed to really appreciate the change of scenery for her walk. When she slowed down, I asked her if she was ready to head back & she said yes.

Luckily on the walk back to Jane’s house we were on the shady side so no shadows to slow us down. But the heat did seem to take it’s toll on Jane. When we went into her house, I sat with her on the couch but she quickly got up & walked back to her room. She was tired so Emely helped me get her into bed & write her name on her new shoes so they don’t get lost. I kissed Jane goodbye, told her I loved her & I would see her again soon. She smiled, said ok & then closed her eyes.

Luckily, Jane has recovered well from last week’s episode. Her doctor does not believe it’s TIA – she doesn’t think its stroke related – just minor seizures. She wants to put Jane on anti-seizure meds but we (the family) aren’t ready to do that just yet. My dad has been doing his own research & doesn’t like the side effects which come along with the drug. For now, they are minor & happen infrequently. Of course we will keep an eye on Jane & re-evaluate our opinion later if needed.

Jane doesn’t have much in the way of language anymore but she seemed happy & playful today. She held on to me tight & showed me she loves me in her own special way. Sometimes we need to listen with our heart – not our ears. I think this is the most valuable lesson I have learned on this journey with Jane.